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Annoyances in Abundance
Posted by Telling It To You
on
2:24 PM
It has been awhile since I last wrote you, so my opinions have been piling up. Here is my current list.... in no particular order.
1.) People who say "Pun-kin" instead of "pumpkin". Seriously... when did the mp become optional?
2.) Campaign Commercials. Nothing is more annoying than seeing a middle aged, balding, millionaire in cowboy boots tell me he is "just an average guy" who wants to "go to Washington and protect you from corrupt politicians". It is clearly just a matter of time before these same yahoos are behind a podium apologizing for sleeping with an underage intern, or playing footsie under a bathroom stall.
I want to see a political ad where a politician says " I have enough money to run for this position. When I get to Washington I will still be an arrogant pervert with questionable morals. But at least you know I won't be lying about it."
3.) People that like to complain about too much government and how we should cut government. Do these people not get that hundreds of thousands of people work for the government? I am not just talking about politicians, but people like the receptionist in the Department of Agriculture office. Next thing you know, the same people will be complaining about how the unemployment rate is too high because now all the government people got laid off.
4.) People who act like you just shot Jesus when you tell them that you don't want kids. I am going to start telling people that we can't have them because I lost my uterus is a freak underwater yoga accident, and that we can't adopt because of my shady criminal history... maybe that will stop the questions.
5.) Dreadlocks- Every time I see someone with dreadlocks I throw up a little in my mouth. Essentially it is a hairstyle that looks like someone took multiple logs of poop and attached it to your head. Seeing chunks of unknown items permanently stuck in your mop of tangled nastiness makes me want to spray you with Lysol. The only person that could possibly get away with the look is this guy:
and I am convinced he grew dreadlocks because he knew if he ever ran out of weed, he could cut off one of the dreadlocks, light it up and get high off the residue in his hair.
6.) People who put their purse on the bathroom floor. I fight the urge to tell them "Congrats you are now carrying a sack of feces, urine and miscellaneous diseases."
7.) Pimping out your car when you drive a Dodge Neon, Ford Escort, Geo Metro, Chevy Cavalier etc.... Now don't get me wrong, I think it is perfectly fine to drive a crappy car, but you must be willing to embrace the fact that it is crappy. Slapping rims and a spoiler on a Dodge Neon is like turning your car into a transvestite. You can dress it up however you want, but it still has the same parts under all those clothes. Like this car for example... Flames... really?
8.)Lady GaGa- Anyone can put on some ridiculous clothes, purchase a synthesizer and sing the same word over an over again while someone pumps the base. Wearing underwear out in public and claiming to be "misunderstood" does not make you an artist.
That's all for now. Don't worry... I will be annoyed again soon:)
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1.) People who say "Pun-kin" instead of "pumpkin". Seriously... when did the mp become optional?
2.) Campaign Commercials. Nothing is more annoying than seeing a middle aged, balding, millionaire in cowboy boots tell me he is "just an average guy" who wants to "go to Washington and protect you from corrupt politicians". It is clearly just a matter of time before these same yahoos are behind a podium apologizing for sleeping with an underage intern, or playing footsie under a bathroom stall.
I want to see a political ad where a politician says " I have enough money to run for this position. When I get to Washington I will still be an arrogant pervert with questionable morals. But at least you know I won't be lying about it."
3.) People that like to complain about too much government and how we should cut government. Do these people not get that hundreds of thousands of people work for the government? I am not just talking about politicians, but people like the receptionist in the Department of Agriculture office. Next thing you know, the same people will be complaining about how the unemployment rate is too high because now all the government people got laid off.
4.) People who act like you just shot Jesus when you tell them that you don't want kids. I am going to start telling people that we can't have them because I lost my uterus is a freak underwater yoga accident, and that we can't adopt because of my shady criminal history... maybe that will stop the questions.
5.) Dreadlocks- Every time I see someone with dreadlocks I throw up a little in my mouth. Essentially it is a hairstyle that looks like someone took multiple logs of poop and attached it to your head. Seeing chunks of unknown items permanently stuck in your mop of tangled nastiness makes me want to spray you with Lysol. The only person that could possibly get away with the look is this guy:
and I am convinced he grew dreadlocks because he knew if he ever ran out of weed, he could cut off one of the dreadlocks, light it up and get high off the residue in his hair.
6.) People who put their purse on the bathroom floor. I fight the urge to tell them "Congrats you are now carrying a sack of feces, urine and miscellaneous diseases."
7.) Pimping out your car when you drive a Dodge Neon, Ford Escort, Geo Metro, Chevy Cavalier etc.... Now don't get me wrong, I think it is perfectly fine to drive a crappy car, but you must be willing to embrace the fact that it is crappy. Slapping rims and a spoiler on a Dodge Neon is like turning your car into a transvestite. You can dress it up however you want, but it still has the same parts under all those clothes. Like this car for example... Flames... really?
8.)Lady GaGa- Anyone can put on some ridiculous clothes, purchase a synthesizer and sing the same word over an over again while someone pumps the base. Wearing underwear out in public and claiming to be "misunderstood" does not make you an artist.
That's all for now. Don't worry... I will be annoyed again soon:)
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