Telling It To You!: When Did Tan Become a Qualification

So as a member of the world's pale force, summer always brings out the inevitable comments from people who see me in a swim suit:

" God you are so pale"

" Wow we should call you Casper."

and my personal favorite

"Wow you must never get any sun!"

What I want to ask these people is.... When did being tan become a requirement?

I did not have any control over the color of my skin, and even if I was to sit outside in the sun all day long every day, I would not be tan.... I would be in the hospital being treated for second degree burns. If I don't lather every inch of my body up with 40 SPF every time I venture out into the sun, these same morons would be telling me "Wow you look like a lobster."

So explain to me oh judgers of pale people.... how would you suggest I change my skin color?

Some have suggested using a fake tanner but I think I will pass on looking like an oompa loompa... and more importantly why should I have to? Is there some sort of rule that being tan is a qualification for being attractive?

Some of the most beautiful women in the world have been known for the pale color of their skin. Anne Hathaway, Nicole Kidman and Marilyn Monroe didn't color their skin orange to fit in, so why should I?

So the next time a moron decides to comment on my lack of pigmentation I will tell them I think I see a cancer spot growing on their back.